@Debbie Brown, Executive Vice President at Good Karma Brands, is great at emphasizing one of the keys to being successful: look at yourself as not being a “finished product.” A Maya Angelou quote I love that sums this up is, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” There is some nuance to this quote, and today I want to highlight the part about knowing better. Human nature is to agree with ourselves and our decisions. But in order to “know better,” we often need feedback from others which at times can contradict agreeing with ourselves and our decisions, making this all the more difficult. There are a few action steps I believe we should all take to help us “know better,” so we can “do better.”
The first step in doing better is to seek feedback. After internal or external meetings, brainstorming sessions and/or speaking engagements, ask to be nitpicked! Feedback is a gift, and it is not easy to give to those who are not open to it. Which leads me to step two: appreciate feedback. Being defensive or brushing it off is a quick way to receive less feedback and never learn how to do better. Professional athletes are a great example of a group that embodies the mentality of always wanting to “do better.” They give each other feedback and accept constant feedback from their coaches AND teammates. They know someone telling them, “That was a bad play,” is about the play they made, and not about who they are as a human being.
Sometimes in settings outside of athletics, it’s a little harder to deliver direct feedback and accept it. There are a few principles of giving and receiving feedback that I like to steal from the Netflix culture. It’s called the 4As of feedback, and Keith Williams, our Senior Vice President and market manager at ESPN Chicago, added a 5th as one of the key principles of communicating with teammates.
- Aim to Assist– This isn’t about telling someone they’re frustrating you. You are giving them feedback on a better way to do/act/be.
- Actionable- They should be able to understand the feedback given and believe they can “do better.” The giver can’t just say, “do better.” There has to be something they can actually do differently.
- Appreciate- Feedback is not easy to give to someone else. Appreciate that your teammate was willing to get uncomfortable in order to help you and the company win. #feedbackisagift
- Accept or Discard- This is your choice. You can choose to accept the feedback and make the actionable change, or discard the feedback and decide it won’t help you/us win more. Be sure to make this choice after the feedback is given. Let the teammate know you will process it and get back to them. We can be defensive the moment we receive feedback, but once we have time to process it, our willingness to accept it might be different.
- Don’t be an Asshole– This one might seem obvious, but the way we say something is important. The feedback we give needs to be direct, but also framed in a way they will understand and hopefully appreciate. Remember you are talking to a fellow teammate and likely someone you care about. In addition, feedback should often be positive. If you give positive feedback when warranted, then the critical feedback will be a better conversation, and neither the giver nor receiver will feel like the other is being the “5th A.”
Proactively seek feedback, remember the 4 A’s when giving and receiving feedback, and don’t be a number 5.